Ep. 307 - Don't Underestimate Yourself

I'm welcome to Pickleball therapy, the podcast dedicated to pickable improvement.

I hope you have a great week.

My name is Tony Roy.

I'm your host of this weekly podcast.

This week we're going to talk about, I think, a super interesting topic about underestimating

ourselves, right?

About not embracing ourselves, not diving in, not going after what we want.

And last couple of weeks ago, I did a podcast where I shared another content creators message

which we're going to do the same thing in this podcast today.

I'm going to share the message from this other content creator and her journey.

And I think you're going to find it very inspiring.

And then we're going to talk about that in terms of you in general, as well as your pickable

development.

And then in the riff today, I'm going to share with you something that happened during

a game that I match that I played this week or a few games that I played this week during

a session.

It's just two different ways of approaching adversity when you're out on the court because

adversity will occur when you're out on the court.

And so how you, you know, the adversity, I can't control, right?

That's just part of life.

What I can't control is how I react or how I deal with the adversity.

And I think you'll find that helpful as well.

As we dive into the podcast, first I want to thank the founders who have come forward

and joined us in the TRP or Tony Roy Pickleball project.

Really appreciate you becoming a part of, you know, the organization from the go means

a lot to me personally and means a lot to the project that allows us to continue to fulfill

the mission, which is growing you individually, right?

As a listener, right?

So you as a pickable player, that's our mission.

But we also have a bigger picture mission, which is helping to strengthen our sport in general

because, you know, that we can't look at our sport as something that's just kind of magical

and just sits there.

It takes work.

It takes effort.

It takes commitment.

You know, we know the role that we play, the lane that we fill, which is strengthening

players through knowledge, right?

Because part of this activity, part of this sport, part of this game is being able to

do it, right?

And feeling good about it, feeling confident, feeling like I can go out on the court.

I can't hit the ball where I want to hit it.

I, you know, I don't feel like a dummy because I can't hit the shot or I don't understand

it and things like that.

So our role and our lane is to help with that.

Again, we want to help you personally as a player through this podcast and the other

things that we do.

But we also want to help players in general, you know, grow and continue to get stronger

because as a sport, get stronger, that continues to then make it stronger for us individually

to be a part of it, right?

So again, it's a collective kind of a thing that we're involved in as players, right?

It's a collective event, right?

We need multiple players, players to show up to open players who feel good about themselves

and want to keep doing this so that we selfishly can continue to enjoy the sport.

And when I say we selfish, then talking about all of us as players, not me as a content

creator as a coach selfishly, right?

I want the sport to continue because I love playing bigtable.

I played it.

I played it yesterday.

I'm playing it again tomorrow.

I'm going to play it next week and a couple of times, right?

With my friends.

I love coaching it too.

Right?

It allows me to interact with you as a coach to player, right?

The sport's necessary for that as well.

It has allowed me to grow as a human as a person and as a player through this podcast, through

the work that I do.

So I'm very thankful to the sport.

And I believe if you're listening to this, you're at a level of thankfulness for the sport

as well that talks about it getting, you know, being stronger.

Or where we're talking about it being stronger as a sport makes sense to you.

So again, thank you very much for those of you who came forward and became founders.

If you have not and this sounds interesting to you, send us an email.

You can send it to support at 20workpigable.com, put the word, you know, founders in the subject

line and we'll get back to you and let you know what that's all about.

So, all right.

Let's dive into the podcast now.

Now before I play this piece that I want to, that we're going to talk about, this underestimating

piece, the content creator is, I believe she's currently 72.

She was 60 when she recorded the, or not 60 when she recorded it.

She was 60 when this epiphany came over her, but don't get bogged down in the age.

It doesn't matter what age you are.

The key message here is that wherever you are right now, whatever age you are right now,

there's a future for you that is what you want and it's maybe very different than what

you think you can accomplish.

And I think you're going to find this message really impactful as to how you can basically

flip a switch essentially and go from, you know, where you were to a future that is much,

maybe a much more complete, much fuller when you stop under-acidating yourself and that's

the key message.

So, I'm going to play the clip now and then we'll come back and we'll talk about it.

I returned at 60.

Two days later, I did my first marathon.

I don't think that's the story, but it isn't.

The marathon was simply the first time I realized that I'd been underestimating myself.

Since then, I've run over 100 marathons across every continent and set a world record in

Antarctica.

What I discovered was that every time I asked more of myself, life just opened up.

That's what you'll find on here.

Not marathon training, not perfect bodies.

Just add is to help you live life on your terms.

Wondering if it's too late?

It isn't.

So, do you start saying yes?

That was pretty wild, right?

I mean, you know, she's 60, her tires runs a marathon right away and has been running

marathon since.

Her name is Christine Hobson.

That's her name.

You can follow her on her TikTok and on her socials and on her content creation.

She actually does a lot of really good content for showing you how to do exercise, showing

how to just active later on in life.

It's quite the journey.

But the key message that I wanted you to take away from listening to her is underestimating.

Restimation or underestimating yourself.

I think we do that a lot, right?

As humans, we've lived a life where maybe like, you know, we've tried something, haven't

successful, tried something, haven't successful.

And so, we start feeling like we can't.

And we can't and we can't and we're limited or we're getting older.

So now I can't do these things because I'm older.

I can tell you that I speak with folks on a reasonably regular basis.

And I'm always advocating to them to try pickable, right?

If you could probably pick a ball, if you tried pickable and things like that.

And I will get answers like, I'm too old to try it, I'm just too out of shape to try.

I'm too feeling the blank to try it.

And it's unfortunate, right?

And I will try and give them more encouragement, right?

But it's suggesting that they maybe try it one time.

You know, I'll try and hook them up with like a facility that has some nice beginner

open play or some resources where they can go there and have a paddle, provide it to

them at the facility and just, you know, try it out.

But this blockage, right, that we self-impose, it's unfortunate because if we want to do something,

then, you know, maybe we should.

Maybe we should give it a try.

And I'll tell you another related story.

I'm not going to play this content creator because it's too many content creators in

one in one session.

But I'll give you the story.

So I just came across this today, which is interesting how the universe works.

Sometimes these things, you know, seem to coalesce in one place.

And it was a younger woman who had become a stand of comedian.

And the story she related was basically that she, she was on a date and they were going

to go to a stand of comedy show after the dinner.

And they were having a conversation and she tells her date, you know, I, I, I, I, I, I,

you know, in another universe in an alternate universe, I would be a stand of comedian.

And she explained that she had never said that before, never thought it before.

All of a sudden, it just came to her, right, that she would be a stand of comedian.

So the date she was with, I think, very mature, very cool that what he asked was basically,

like, well, why not in this universe, be a stand of comedian.

Now, this, this person had never thought about it before, right?

All of a sudden, it came to her that she wanted to be a stand of comedian.

And maybe in another life, she would be a stand of comedian.

So he said, why not in this life?

Why not right now do it?

And so they had some back and forth.

And it was a lot of excuses, a lot of well, this ameldominated thing and this and the other thing.

And, and the, the her date kept on, like, kind of peeling that back, right?

Peeling that back and exploring it.

And ultimately, you know what she did?

She became a stand of comedian and, and is able to have success in the stand

of, you know, as a stand of comedian, because she went for it.

She tried it and, and related to the earlier conversation, the, the message that we heard from Christine,

she did not, she stopped underestimating herself.

She was underestimating herself, right?

She was like giving herself reasons why she couldn't do it.

Now, the sudden she decided to overcome that.

In pickleball, right?

Don't underestimate yourself.

Don't underestimate your ability to perform the way that you imagine yourself being able to perform.

There's really nothing impeding you from having that sort of experience with this sport.

When I say there's nothing impeding you, there can be some things that impede you.

And what I mean by that is, you know, if you get, and we've talked about this before,

so I'm not going to dwell on it too much, but like if you get bad information, if you get bad guidance,

that can impede your progress.

If you're coming at it, maybe the, the, the long way around, it might take longer right to get there.

Also, if like you, you're coming at it from, I, I submit to you, if you're coming at it from a very technical standpoint,

meaning like I need to know exactly the angle to hold the paddle and exactly my, you know,

my left toe needs to point this direction and my, you know, the toe next,

it needs to point in the other direction and all of these very complicated ways of coming at it.

Yes, that's kind of maybe impede you, but it's not that there's an actual impediment.

Those impediments are just the last ones I mentioned are all self-imposed,

because it's how you're deciding to come at it with good guidance, with good coaching,

with good, you know, path, a good path for you.

There's no reason why you can't play the type of pickable that you want to play.

And I would even submit to you, I, I normally don't try and, and spend too much time on levels, right?

But they're, they're a good shorthand for us.

So we're going to use here as a shorthand.

So let's say you're playing like 2.5 level pickable and you just love to play 4.0 level pickable.

Absolutely no reason you can't do.

You can't play 4.0 level pickable.

Is it going to be tomorrow? No.

You know, is it going to be in six months?

I don't know. Maybe it's possible.

I don't think I'll go to five to four or six months.

You could do that.

It took a lot of work and dedication and a plan and all that, but you could do it.

18 months?

Absolutely.

2.5 to 4.

Right.

As long as you're clear on what you're, what you're working on and moving forward.

And listen, I'm not telling you to become a 4.0 pickable player.

I'm not telling you to become a 3.5 or 3.7.

What I am telling you is that whatever your vision of yourself is ahead of you, right?

In terms of like, I really like to play like that player.

I'd really like to play.

I'd really like to understand the game a little more.

I'd really like to, you know, feel better on the court because I know how to hit the balls better and things like that, right?

Don't underestimate yourself.

Don't limit yourself.

Don't put blocks to your improvement yourself.

Okay.

By things like, no, I'll never get that.

I'll never be that good.

You know what?

I wish I had played tennis.

You know what?

I never played a racket before before.

You know what?

I'm too old.

You know, whatever you fill into blank.

If you, if this, if this is you and you have a blank that you're filling in with something,

get rid of it.

You're rid of it because that's, that's not correct.

And that is not a limitation on what you can accomplish and pickable if you want it.

And I always like to stress that, right?

If you want it, no one is telling you you have to do this.

No one is telling you you need to become a certain level.

No one, I'm not going to tell it say that to you.

It should not be an external influence, right?

Telling you to do that.

But if it's something that you want, something that you would really like to have,

is that the alternate universe you, right?

Like, one, another life, I'd be really good pickable player.

Why not do it in this life?

Why not make it a reality in this life?

Because you can.

If Christine can run her first marathon at 60, set a world record with it.

Run, I forget the number, but it's a crazy number of marathons, right?

If that's her passion, good for her.

She's living her best life.

If you have a passion within the swore to pickable, that includes, I would like to

be more masterful at my sport, at my activity, at the thing that I love doing.

Don't underestimate yourself and don't put up artificial barriers

to your own progression, to your own development, to your own growth, to your own

unlocking of what you can actually do.

So that's the message there with the, with the underestimation.

I hope that helps you if you're feeling less than if you're feeling stock,

if you're feeling blocked by something that if you really think about it,

if Christine retired at 60, ran her first marathon a week and later,

and then running marathon since successfully and living a great life,

huh? Maybe I can do something in my pickable space because I love pickable,

where I'm going to feel better every week because I'm keep on growing in the sport.

And then I get the benefits of also feeling better physically, right?

Because I'm moving better, I'm doing all that better.

I feel better mentally because I feel happier with my engagement with the sport,

which then translates to a happier life, all those benefits, right?

So if Christine can do it, the comedian can do it.

Why can't you do it? All right.

So that's the main message from this podcast in the riff.

Here's what I want to share with you.

It's just a, but I'll set it up, and then I'll tell you a couple of situations

and then how they were handled.

And I'm not going to use any names here because these are friends of mine

and the names don't matter anyway.

And I'm not never trying to embarrass anybody with these stories.

I'm just trying to share real things that happen on the pickable core

because I know that you listening to this podcast probably have felt something like this.

I mean, I'll be exactly this, but it could be something like this, right?

So the first situation is one where basically it's a really difficult shot

that my partner's trying to hit.

And we're in a stack formation.

So that means that my partner's on my side.

The return of service hit on the opposite corner from where we're standing.

Because you know, he's serving from the right side he has to go to the left.

Return of service is hit hard with spin in the corner.

Gray return of serve high level of difficulty for my partner to hit a backhand shot from there.

My partner goes over to get it, tries to hit a backhand and it hits like at the top of the net.

Right. So he misses the shot, but at the very top of the net is good effort

on a very difficult return to serve.

And, and he says, sorry.

And I say, yeah, hey, no worries.

I said, that was a really difficult return of serve.

Right. That was the credit to the return of serve.

Really hard for you to hit that shot there.

You know, it happens. No big deal. Right.

Still apologize to me.

Again, and also says, yeah, but I, you know, I shouldn't miss that.

I just, I can't, I can't, I know.

I'm not, I can't miss that.

I shouldn't miss that.

To me, I don't see that as a productive feeling for my friend.

And I, I would try, I think I tried my best to get him over that, right?

To say why he shouldn't feel bad, right?

It's a good return to serve.

Very hard shot that he was trying to hit, right?

From that position, right?

And he was from the stack.

And I heard a move. I explained that to him.

And I also told him I was fine.

Right. Don't have to apologize to me.

I don't, I'm not upset.

I'm not like, oh my God.

I can't believe you miss that.

Nothing. Right.

So don't take it.

Don't, don't, don't put any onus for me on yourself.

Right. Don't.

But I couldn't, right?

You know, just how he chooses to interact with information.

And that's again, you know, it's unfortunate for him.

I feel for him. He's a friend of mine.

I've known him for years.

He processes information today.

The same we process it a few years ago.

The same kind of thing where it's like a negative loop unnecessary.

I think it's, it's harmful to him in terms of his love of the sport,

engagement of the sport.

It loves the sport, loves playing.

Very good competitor out there.

But just cannot really process adverse consequences, adversity, right?

That's an adverse event, right?

You know, adverse in the, you know,

in the scale of adversity, it's pretty small, right?

But in terms of like, in the pickleball world, missing a shot,

that's an adverse event.

So he's dealing with adversity in what I would submit to you is not the healthiest way

for him to deal with adversity.

Now I'm going to give you another example of adversity.

And this is one that happened to me and how I dealt with it.

So we were playing in our last game of the day.

And nice competitive match, right?

I was very evenly matched, very competitive.

And we were, the score was like in the fours, call it four four, four, three, four, five, somewhere in that range.

And I had a dip in energy, dip in focus, I should say, in energy and focus, right?

Where I just kind of like my brain, I don't know where it went, but it went somewhere.

It was at the store thinking about, you know, the podcast or the curriculum

I'm drafting for the new course, wherever it went, you know, somewhere.

And so I just wasn't like, I missed a couple of shots.

I don't normally miss.

I wasn't really like, you know, hitting the balls away.

I wanted to hit him like everything, everything dipped for middle of that game, right?

And, you know, last game of the day, we're on court one.

So we had moved, you know, I was in on the, you don't want to think about like the

winter score, like the top court we were on.

So, you know, you always want to try and go out with a bang if you can't write

when that game do the best you can, whatever.

But I had a dip.

So I could have gotten upset, right?

I could have gotten like, God, I can't believe I'm missing all these shots.

I can't believe them.

You know, what's going on?

I can't do this, you know?

And then it's just like really hunkered down and be like, no, I'm not going to allow

myself to do this.

I'm going to like, I'm going to, I got to find it.

I just impossible.

Like it's unacceptable for me not to be focused in this moment.

But why would I do that?

Right?

I, I realized that I'm a human being.

I realize that abs and flows in focus are the most natural thing in the world.

Right?

Totally unavoidable happens to the most dedicated, full time, professional athletes

in every sport.

It's just, it's life.

It's just something that happens.

And so that's why I went with it, right?

I understood that, okay, I, you know, listen, I, if I had like a switch that I could

just flip, I would have gone over there and flipped it again.

I'm like, okay, let's react to this focus that you had earlier.

But there is no such switch.

I understand there's no such switch.

And so, you know, I told my partner, I was like, Hey, you know, and I won't use names

when I was like, Hey, you know, pick me up.

I'll, I'll, I'll be back in a few, I'll be back in a few minutes.

I know how it works.

Do I know that I'm going to have an, I'll come back and sure enough, came back.

The other team ended up winning that game, but we ended up, you know, making it competitive.

It's a, you know, tightened it up.

We, you know, we basically were able to reassert the fight, but it's what happens.

Yeah.

And so I'm going to submit to you that dealing with adversity in a way where you look at it

and you, and you understand the big picture, right?

You understand reasonable expectations for you as a human being.

And don't set unreasonable expectations where you're like, why I can never miss any shot,

even heart shots, right?

I can't miss anything, you know, that's, that's a very difficult way to play where you feel,

like you let your partner down all the time when you miss those shots.

When I'm not, I don't feel let down at all.

Yeah, I mean, I'm the partner.

I should know, right?

I'm the, it's my, that's my space, right?

In terms of, but I feel it down, not let down.

I feel great.

And so I think there's a, the better way to deal with those situations,

adverse situations we're playing is to have a better perspective, right?

Have a better framing for it.

And so I wanted to share with you the story so you could see how like you could take two

adverse situations.

Right?

They're both adverse again within the context of the sport, you know, the adverse because we're missing shots

and deal with it either in a negative way where it's your fault.

You should have done better, unacceptable, whatever, or deal with it in a way where you go,

okay, I'm not like ecstatic about it.

I'm like, hey, great.

I'm missing shots, right?

But I'm also understanding that that's part of the game.

Part of it's going to happen.

I'm doing the best I can within this human constraint that I, that I have it.

And so that's just how things are.

So I think the more you move from the former to the latter, you know, you're going to have a

calm or mind.

You're going to be able to perform, you know, better out on the core.

You're going to be able to hate your shots, see the core, do, you know, better as you move forward

just by not tying it down to like this negative reaction to it.

So and I'll continue to, I'll continue to try and help my friend out the best I can to navigate

this forward in a way that hopefully, you know, within the next couple of years, you know,

you can miss a shot and go like, oh, darn it.

I miss a shot.

Well, I guess I suspect it's an open deal.

All right. That's this week's podcast.

I hope you enjoyed it.

As always, if you have a minute to rate or review it, please consider doing so.

And share with your friends, particularly if you have a friend who misses a shot and just,

you know, it's their fault and they're a bad person because they missed a shot.

Maybe share this podcast with them.

Or if you have a friend who's feeling like they can't do it because whatever,

you can just share the clip to Christine and maybe that, that type of,

you know, encouragement, that type of, you know, good story of moving forward will help them too.

So I hope you have a great week.

Again, thank you founders for being a part of the project that I look forward to seeing you inside the newly launched.

Your pickable coach course, very excited about that, very excited about being able to bring that to you as founders early

before it goes out to the general population.

Be well.

And I will see you next time here.

Pick up both.

Thank you very much.

Till then.