DANNY MCBRIDE Talks First Novel, Ghostly Encounters, North Carolina

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Michael Keaton really was the coolest guy.

He was.

Still is the coolest guy.

You said I reminded you.

Well, no, you actually said that you reminded yourself of that.

You had some leather slips on.

You're like, wow, is that Batman?

Which one?

And you're like, Michael Keaton, and I was like, wow, I wouldn't say that myself.

You probably get that all the time.

No, you get it probably all the time too.

You remind me of Michael Keaton more.

I don't know what you remind me the most.

You remind me of Michael Keaton.

I thought I was in the next multiplicity.

I bet you, Michael Keaton.

Whatever he's doing right now is what, I bet she looks just like you.

Really?

Yeah, right now.

Like, chill out the fuck out, dude.

Take it, just take it.

You can have that.

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Nick Nick Nick Nick Nick Nick Nick Nick Nick Nick Nick Nick Nick Nick Nick Nick Nick Nick Nick Nick Nick Nick Nick Nick Nick Nick Nick Nick Nick Nick Nick Nick Nick Nick Nick Nick Nick Nick Nick Nick Nick Nick Nick Nick Nick Nick Nick Nick Nick Nick Nick Nick Nick Nick Nick Nick Nick Nick Nick Nick Nick Nick Nick Nick Nick Nick Nick Nick Nick Nick Nick Nick Nick Nick Nick Nick Nick Nick Nick Nick Nick Nick Nick Nick Nick Nick Nick Nick Nick Nick Nick Nick Nick Nick Nick Nick Nick Nick Nick Nick Nick Nick Nick Nick Nick Nick Nick Nick Nick Nick Nick Nick Nick Nick Nick Nick Nick Nick Nick Nick Nick Nick Nick Nick Nick Nick Nick Nick Nick Nick Nick Nick Nick Nick Nick Nick Nick Nick Nick Nick Nick Nick Nick Nick Nick Nick Nick Nick Nick Nick Nick Nick Nick Nick Nick Nick Nick Nick Nick Nick Nick Nick Nick Nick Nick Nick Nick Nick Nick Nick Nick Nick Nick Nick Nick Nick Nick Nick Nick Nick Nick Nick Nick Nick Nick Nick Nick Nick Nick Nick Nick Nick Nick Nick Nick Nick Nick Nick Nick Nick Nick Nick Nick Nick Nick Nick Nick Nick Nick Nick Nick Nick Nick Nick Nick Nick Nick Nick Nick Nick Nick

the book world through him.

Were you a Stern guy at any point in your life?

You know, I worked at an enterprise car rental

joint for a little bit where I vacuumed cars

and I would listen to Stern in the morning.

That's when he was still on regular radio.

Not on satellite radio.

I, my alarm clock radio was Stern growing up

before school and I had no-

Where'd you grow up?

I lost Vegas, Nevada.

Who knew you?

Well, that's why the biggest number.

You just still haven't changed that number

even though you live in New York, huh?

You want to tell everyone?

Yeah.

It's 702.

Yes.

That's what I called.

If anyone was like, no, yeah.

I used to be embarrassed of coming from a shit place

and living here, but now I'm kind of proud of it.

I think it's a great place to come from.

That's a pretty unique upbringing, I'm sure.

It was weird.

It's playing Blackjack all the time.

No, they didn't let me because I had a system.

Yeah.

Got you.

That makes sense.

I was one of those math genius kids.

Yeah.

You grew up in Fredrick'sburg, is that right?

I did.

I grew up mainly.

I lived in Fredrick'sburg.

Before that, I lived in a really small town in California

called Lompoke.

My dad was a guard in the prison there.

We lived on the prison reservation.

It's pretty exciting.

Do you know if your dad was a dirty?

If he was, she probably was.

I'm sure he was.

I think he staged pit fights with the prisoners and stuff.

I would imagine.

That's what I would think would happen.

I don't know.

In Vegas, I was staging bum fights, in fact.

Oh, perfect.

Do you remember that website, bumfights.com?

That was one of the cultural roles.

That was you.

Yeah, yeah.

I staged it.

Yeah, yeah.

I think it was cool.

It gave a lot of people a lot of opportunities to show their talent.

He had both lies, for instance.

Yeah.

And most lies was no joke.

He was, I miss it.

He died.

Yeah, I think he's dead.

That's too bad.

Yeah, he was a, he seemed unbeatable.

The man was a little bit more good.

What got him?

I think it was the,

Limes disease.

Oh, sorry.

Yeah, Limes disease.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Oh, wait, you don't live in LA anymore.

You've tried a bunch of times, right?

I lived in LA for a while.

I lived there for almost 20 years.

And then I moved out about almost 10 years ago now.

Congratulations.

Yeah.

Yeah, last trip I had there, I was like, I, I don't like this place at all.

Yeah, it's fun to visit, but when you have to start living your day to day there, I just

found it to be a lot.

Yeah.

What made you want to write a book?

Let's get that.

You know what?

I read books.

And so then I was like, why don't you try to write one?

Let's see what happens.

And my life hasn't been exciting enough for me to write an autobiography just yet.

So I figured I needed to invent some stories.

Oh, yeah.

Yeah.

And then you're, my favorite story here was Danny McBride, the man with the biggest

penis in all time.

Yeah.

Yeah.

So that publishing company far hard to take that out, but I kept it in.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Yeah.

You said you're taking liberties.

Yeah.

It's creative.

Yeah.

That story, you know, it was cut, honestly, one of the shortest stories in the book, you know,

it was very small.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Short story, big piece.

Yeah.

Exactly.

That's the subtitle.

That is.

That's it.

And then, yeah, it's probably two or three sentences after each title.

Yeah.

Yeah.

I've been a fan.

It's really cool that you're on the show.

I've been a fan for a long time.

In college, the pilot for Eastbound leaks.

And we loved foot fist weight.

Oh, nice.

And do you remember it leaks like about like a year and a half before like the show ever

aired?

You know, I never realized because I had, I had a copy myself.

So I never, yeah, I do.

You leaked it.

You said it earlier.

Yeah.

And we thought that we had no clue whether that show would get picked up.

So we kind of like, we approached it.

We're like, well, we got to shoot a pilot.

Yeah.

It's my favorite show of all time.

Oh, I appreciate that.

The script for the pilot also is pretty, pretty crazy.

Yeah.

Yeah.

How did you, what did you just put too much in there so you could get some past the

we were.

We were.

Yes.

We, we, we, we, we didn't really, at that point, we were very new to our careers, very

new.

We just always saw the executives as the enemy.

So we were sort of always trying to outmaneuver them.

Like let's just like go really hard and then the idea that maybe will somehow end up just

slightly back from that.

But weirdly, they kind of stopped pushing back.

And so then we're like, whoa, we're pretty far out over our skis here.

We didn't think they would let us do this.

Did you see your life going in this direction?

Did you just like say like whatever?

Like maybe I didn't really.

I mean, I went to film school.

I wanted to make movies and and do that.

But I didn't, I definitely didn't see acting and things.

That was definitely not something I was like trying to do or looking to do.

Uh-huh.

I suppose like, do you feel like most normal in the South?

Is that why you went back?

Like, I don't know if I feel most normal in the South, but I just, honestly, I just like

the, I like the pace of it.

I feel like I did love being in a city like in my 20s.

But then once you have kids and you live in a city, you're like a teen mom who's just

like watching everyone else have fun.

So you, when you're a teenager, you become a mother.

I can be a mother.

Yeah.

It was sick.

You would have loved it.

Um, yeah, I guess like when you're young, like, how did you know you wanted to be making

like, uh, did you want to make films?

Is that like, I did.

I, you know, I, uh, I loved movies.

I was like, you know, I'm just like talking like a old time or what, when I was a kid, it

was like the birth of video store.

So like that was like such a crazy concept that what you're seeing in the movie theater,

you could like take home and watch it for two days in your house.

And I think that that came around when I was at an impressional age.

So I just was obsessed with, with just movies.

How do you like the guys in the 70s like become cine files?

I have no clue.

I think they had a wait the three years until it came on NBC and had commercials in it.

I don't know.

We saw Star Wars like 57 times.

I know.

Yeah.

Like when we were kids, because we had like the VHS.

Well, that's the thing is I feel like with, we, it's fairly new that people have that kind

of relationship with movies that you can watch your favorite movie over and over again.

Like it was something that you would see once, maybe twice.

It was a lot of it.

It is.

It is.

Yeah.

Did they have better memories or something?

I guess there was less of it.

So maybe they were just like really living it.

Yeah.

You can watch it so many times.

We could literally blaze and do it.

Yeah.

Just quote every line.

Yeah.

I remember when the, when the DVDs, like delivery from Netflix started, I, like I was like

my life is about to change completely.

I could watch any movie.

And I, yeah, and I don't have to worry about a late fee.

I don't have to pay a hundred bucks because I forgot to return this.

Do you think there's a, like, do you think they suck?

No, like, because like, and maybe it's the over availability has made it suck.

Like I think music probably kids can listen to any song ever, right?

Yeah.

Like I would get a CD and listen for a month and then like get obsessed with one album.

Yeah.

And it would really make an impression on you.

Yeah.

I mean, obviously it's like, I got kids and what I've noticed is when they go on vacation

and they only have like one or two toys, they play with those fucking toys all the time.

Yeah.

But then when they get around their house with all their toys, they're constantly bored.

So I think when you have access to all of it, weirdly none of it kind of resonates.

You kind of don't care about any of it.

You are at sufferers.

Yeah.

And there is so much now and it is, I mean, it used to be, you know, if there was a movie you liked,

you, you know, you really kind of, you had a hope that it was in the video store

that somebody else in your town wasn't wanting to watch the same movie that you were wanting to watch that night.

And I think there's something that probably made all of it seem more magic.

It felt like you were getting something special when it landed at your house.

I guess the only thing that's really changed in the world is we just have iPhones and you watch it.

Yeah.

And you don't shit you want at any time ever.

Yeah.

Which always feel like so weird.

Like when you see those like AT&T commercials and stuff where it literally is people.

Big pants that chick.

That one's great.

Yeah.

Oh, sorry.

It's literally commercials where people are just like walking around the city just like watching TV shows on their phone

and they're like selling it like, look how awesome this is.

You can watch even more things now.

It seems broken, right?

It's fucked up.

Yeah, it's fucked up.

Yeah.

Even calling it binging feels like it's-

Yeah, you're a drug addict.

Yeah.

Yeah.

It seems like a weird thing to call consuming media.

Yeah.

It's the thing that someone that dies from having too much food.

Yeah.

Yeah.

It's the name says it all.

This is a good for you.

Yeah.

I guess like, yeah.

So I'm in a bad mood right now because our researcher says you're obsessed with diet, Dr. Pepper.

You know, I like to put out falsehoods and just test good research.

I'm dealing when he was like 20s.

He said I'm coming from the circus.

Yeah.

But it was in diet, Dr. Pepper.

So he really fucked up.

You want to try one or something?

You know what?

I may probably not, you know?

You have a fucking fridge full of diet, Dr. Pepper.

You know what it's going to be the diet soda that keeps giving?

This is going to be in my head the rest of the episode.

All right.

Can the camera operators have drink all of them by the end of the episode?

I think that's a great challenge.

Yeah.

Okay.

Yeah.

I'm just going to say, I'm going to have a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a

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I missed that one.

So you do look more like Michael Keaton than me.

It's just me seeing a movie.

You remind me into your effortless,

sheer style and when you show up on screen,

everyone's like, he has the effortless, chill style

that Michael Keaton ones had.

In the way that Batman couldn't move his neck.

I'm the same way, yeah.

I guess like, how would you characterize yourself as a kid?

Where you were the, I mean, you sound like a,

let go ahead, tell me what did I sound like?

I mean like a, a fucking pimp.

You know what?

I was, you know, I just marched to my own drum.

I didn't really give shit with people thought.

I just did my own thing.

I liked movies.

I liked, I made movies in my backyard

when I was like in middle school and high school.

I like, you shoot on, shot on a little like

Panasonic VHS camera.

Yeah, yeah.

We had the, the high, the Sony highway.

That was, those were nice.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Those were really cool.

We'd shoot jackass videos on those when I was in high school.

That's perfect.

No one got hurt, huh?

No, a lot of people did.

I got a concussion actually.

And then I took a nap and then my dad got yelled up

by my mom that you can't take a nap after a concussion.

We, a friend of mine broke his arm when we were making,

we made, we were making stand by me part two.

This is serious, this is sixth grade,

this very serious movie.

And the Ray Brower comes back to life and kills

the people that saw his body.

That's funny.

That's what we were making.

And when my friend was playing River Phoenix

and he gets pushed off of a balcony

and he was just gonna hang off the side of the balcony

and we're gonna cut and then just like zoom in.

And instead we were filming, he goes on the balcony

and he just drops and just straight breaks his arm

on the deal and then all the rest of the movie

because we shot everything just in camera.

He suddenly has a pink cast on for the rest of it.

Yeah, continuity issue.

Yeah, and then he overdosed on the Sunset at the Viper room.

Yeah, that one, yep, which is great.

Yeah, it's up to you.

He was up to it.

It was for my bachelor party, yeah.

Yeah.

When there's a legend, I mean you told us

we're probably a million times of like foot,

this way, like you guys just fucking around making it.

And then what do you call it?

Will Ferrell, now I'm okay finding it.

And then it coming out.

Did you guys know that you were,

this was the funniest thing like,

we did it.

We hoped that it would be, but we were just, you know,

we were just making what made us laugh.

And so we were, we didn't know where that would land

or if it would get, if it would score anything for us.

We had no idea.

My favorite moment is when your wife is coming home

and you have the knife.

Nice, try to scare.

It's just a fucking...

LAUGHTER

We replayed.

So those are fun things to do with your wife.

Yeah, you see.

LAUGHTER

I heard you want to say that you like it

when your characters don't like teach anyone any lessons.

Like, is there, I feel like in a lot of your things,

there's a notion of human nature

where people are just really,

why am I talking this?

Go for it. No, you're killing it.

I'm really nervous.

People are just really, do you think people ever change?

Right? Like, you know, I mean, sure, some people change.

You know, but don't you feel like change mainly?

I kind of feel like sometimes it feels insincere

when like you watch someone completely change

in an hour and a half watching a movie.

It kind of feels like, all right.

Yeah. They totally changed.

In real life, but like I am kind of who I was at 17

when I was jerking off to...

Well, you're more Michael Keaton now,

so there's definitely been that change.

I was jerking off Mr. Popper's Penguin's Scribble.

And then you moved on to the multiplicity.

I think I just saw it.

It just saw it's Mr. Popper's Penguin.

It's a good thing to Jack Off to him.

I don't even know if that was when I was in it.

I was jerking off the soul plane.

Oh, yeah.

Do you ever pull the move where you go to the movies

at like 11 and then you see four?

You see four. You jerk off.

You're crashing tiger.

Yeah. Yeah.

The way you just stick around the movie theater

and just kind of bounce from one to the next.

I've definitely done that before.

I haven't done four.

I've done two before.

Yeah, me and my friend Alex in high school,

that was our move.

Yeah, it was just...

I miss...

They used to just make crap

and then you go see the crap that they gave.

I would see everything that was out.

That was fun too to sneak into them

because you'd finish one movie

then you'd go into the bathroom

and then the next one I want to see is in that theater.

I'm going to go in there and then go in.

You're like, damn, this shit doesn't start for like an hour.

You have to check and...

I was like, hide in the back here.

You have to check the paper, right?

You have to check the...

You got to be smart about it.

I was like, yeah, I'm like, oh yeah, I guess I'll sit in

on the scorpion king with the rock.

Yeah, why not?

For like 30 minutes.

See what that shit's all about?

It's perfect.

And then crashing tiger starts...

I mean, I remember it was just like...

They used to just make garbage

but it was the garbage that they gave us.

Yes, and we take it.

And we take it.

And I have a real romanticism about it.

It was pretty awesome.

You think they stripped...

If that stuff becomes unpopular,

there really is nothing for kids to do

other than just like,

off-pain, do drugs.

If we don't have movie theaters,

we need to be that important.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

It's true.

I don't even know what they do nowadays.

They watch gang bangs on Blue Young.

Yeah, jack off to Mr. Popper's Penguin, I think,

is what all the young children are doing these days.

Yeah, I don't know if that's really last.

Well, I think it is.

I saw a date line.

I'm going to tell...

You guys were like such a tight cruise.

You, Jody and Danny.

Sorry, I'm...

David Gordon.

David Gordon, David.

David, run it again.

It was you.

You guys were such a tight cruise.

You, Andrew Tate.

You're a regular.

Yeah.

The luxury of working with the people that you like knew as a very young, like a man.

Like a...

I guess it's like a...

Do you think that your work benefits from the fact that it's like such a small crew?

You know what I think it makes the whole journey of it more fun.

Like, you know, when you're...

When you've known a lot of these guys, because even beyond Jody and David, like,

there's writers on the show, there's our productions.

I have all these guys who are dudes I met when I was 18 years old when we were at film school.

So, like, we, even behind the scenes, are a lot of the same group of guys.

But, yeah, it's just always kind of surreal when you're thinking about, like, you know,

we were just fucking around when we were basically teenagers.

And then everyone's like getting paid to do it and we're showing up in different places.

So, I think it makes it more fun.

And then with our crew, everybody has their own sensibilities and their own tastes.

So, everybody goes and does stuff on their own.

So, I think it takes that pressure that, like, maybe a band has.

Where, like, everybody has to, like, stay together or else no one is going to get paid, you know?

Like, ours is...

The pressure is always off because everybody just goes and does their own thing.

When you...

Did you guys all move to LA together?

Was that...

How were you?

Some of us did.

Green, David Green lived in Texas.

But, yeah, a big group of us moved.

A lot of kids I graduated from the North Carolina School of the Arts at Film School moved to LA.

I think when we moved there in, like, the fall of 99, there was, like, 30 of us.

And then after the first year, there was, like, six of us.

It was like...

Was anyone turning tricks?

Everybody was.

The guy at the Sixth U.S. day, that's how we survived.

Yeah.

Yeah, we're not fools.

We're not going to go through any.

We're not going to show up and be a camera guy on a podcast.

We're going to turn tricks.

Yeah, yeah.

What was it like at those pool parties at David Geffen's house in the Hill?

They were so cool.

I would just walk around in a banana amic serve of my ties.

And everybody seemed to love it.

They thought I had a future.

Yeah, yeah.

Yeah.

You're like, look at me.

I'm a fucking twink.

Yeah, look at me.

You're a twinkie.

You're not.

Yeah, no one here wants to fuck you, dude.

You're trying to get the worst part as you're trying to get the list.

I know.

And it just never happened for me, unfortunately.

Yeah, yeah.

Why not me?

Why not me?

I remember...

I forgot where I heard it.

I had to tell this story.

Like, there was a...

It was...

You had an ex-girlfriend who...

I said that she got involved with...

What was the...

What was the story?

I try to find it everywhere online.

I think I had an escalator or something?

Well, this...

The story...

I went to go...

I had an ex-girlfriend who...

After we broke up, where after she broke up with me, I moved L.A. with her.

And my life quickly fell apart once I moved L.A. for the first time.

She met somebody new.

This guy was a pretty big guy.

He was a gym guy.

And I guess things didn't work out for her.

She was trying to break it off.

She called me to come pick her up.

I showed up.

The guy didn't like it.

I came there with some friends.

Because we're not fighters.

One of us said, like, really he's gotten to big scuffles.

And I ended up with like a golf club and I tried to take a sweet look at this dude.

And it didn't go well.

And we got our ass kicked.

And so...

Well, it was four of you versus the one we used to be.

Well, my friends never got out of the car.

They stayed.

I thought we drove there.

In my holiday of lunch, I remember driving there.

We lived in Glendale and we had to pick her up from Burbank.

And I remember trying to hype them up.

Like, when we get there, you know, we have to just fucking go for it.

We can't show any reluctance.

And we were listening to Rolling Stone's satisfaction in the car.

Just sort of like getting jammed.

Here we go.

And then the reality was that we got...

We pull up and the guy is like six-five and he's standing there.

And all my friends are like, fuck it.

And they're like, just barely rolling on the window.

Like, come on, come into the car.

We don't need to come out.

I'm in line.

We do it.

But then we got into this fight.

And so then we get back...

It's very traumatic.

We get back to my apartment in Glendale.

And then the ex-girlfriend tells me like why she was breaking up with him

that he was basically a criminal and had been involved in a car ring theft.

And I'm like, oh Jesus, he'd like assaulted a police officer.

And then he's sort of...

Then she...

He's calling her saying, I'm gonna kill your...

I'm gonna fucking kill that guy.

And I'm like, oh God, is this really happening?

And my...

Well, at least he doesn't know where we lived.

And she's like, actually he does know where you live.

We went on a date like a cross and I pointed out that you lived there.

And it...

It got really crazy.

That dude rolled up with like a bunch of people and me and my friends escaped.

And I literally never went back to that apartment for like three months.

I just like took a...

I took like a...

A double bag of stuff and just scratched at my friend's house for a while.

You left all your stuff there?

Yeah, I left all my stuff there.

I took like a double bag.

I grabbed a butcher knife and a duffle bag full of stuff and like made my way out to my car and escaped Glenville.

Well, then did that guy...

Was it a Glendale style guy?

I think he got a hominious style guy.

No, no, he wasn't a Glendale style guy.

I was reading about it.

You said you tried to...

You considered Eastbound to be like British TV.

Like what do you mean by that?

Well, only in the sense that when we were watching British TV shows and they were also so short,

they were like six episodes long and American TV was not that way.

Yeah.

I mean, it comes like 24 episodes or something.

Yeah.

So...

Which shows were you watching?

I think watch the office, space, it's like Edgar Wright and Nick Frost is on a pig show.

And then I'd watch, you know, things like...

Rass eye.

Yeah.

And in what you call...

Partridge.

Yeah, Alan Partridge, all the Steve Cugan stuff is awesome.

But when we sold Eastbound, I think even at that point HBO shows were like 13 episodes,

you know, it was what they were.

So when we sold it, it was like we just wanted to do six episodes and everybody, like our agents and even HBO were like,

that's ridiculous.

Like they want to pay you to make more and we just felt like, you know what, six is we can just enough time to make it make sense

to not to like wear it and to run it into the ground.

How did you manage to like...

Like every season is so distinct and like, how did you manage to grow it?

Because every character like, like, it's Jinnowsky, like he really has a wild ride.

He does.

You know what's so funny?

We didn't even know.

We had no idea that that was going to be his run for the beginning.

Like we had him in that pilot and when we got on the set, I just thought Steve Little was so incredibly funny.

But I was just like, well this is what the whole show is, is going to be like these two dudes together.

And so then like a lot of it, I think is just, you know, we'll have some kind of plan.

But really, it's about like making it and seeing what we have fun doing and then just the next time, like letting that guide, what you're going to keep doing.

Yeah, I mean, it is the best show ever.

You know, do you realize the special?

You know, I try to think about it.

I don't look into the past a lot, you know.

I just thought you know it's the forward.

You realize the special.

It's the best fucking show ever.

I mean, oh god.

Yeah, I guess it's just like, yeah, that's the cool thing about that show is that no one really changes, but they change so much.

Yeah, you know what I mean?

Like you could tell that they're cracks of their insecurities that are beginning to show and then they just have this, you can't even ruins everyone's life.

Everybody's like, yeah, everyone's fucking like.

He's the biggest piece of shit at all time.

How did you like come up with the concept each season that's like the Mexico season, the Murral season and then the like I guess inside the NBA kind of.

Yeah, we know we really wanted every season to feel like it could just be its own movie.

Yeah.

And that way, even if you don't like the whole series, you might have a season that you would like that you'd like, like I only do the Murral Beach season or whatever.

But we wanted them, you know, we're like, that was the first thing we had ever done in television.

So we were used to just writing for movies or thinking about stories and movie terms.

So we really approached each season like it was a sequel.

Just sort of like, you know, if they're in the snow and Empire strikes back, like what's our version of what, what, what weird outfits will they wear this season?

And so then it was kind of what we would just think that way of like, all right, what kind of weird shit would Kenny be wearing?

Like he's in Mexico.

He's wearing like Mexican stuff.

He's a Murral Beach.

And that's a different dipshit stuff.

Did you go, that was your vacation spot as a kid, Murral?

I went there like once or twice.

Yeah, you know, I actually had to go there last week and my son was in a lacrosse tournament there.

It's a long time since I've been there, but get a lot of mileage when I show up there at the Murral Beach.

It is, it's such, there are like a bunch of cities in the part of the world that you live in that are so distinct from any other city.

You live in Charleston.

Yeah.

It is distinct from any other city in America.

Savannah is distinct.

But Murral Beach is just, it is, it is a mirror to America.

Like it is just hell on earth.

It's really, I just, it's sticky.

You know, you go to restaurants there and your arms stick to the tables, the weather outside sticky, the floors in the hotel or sticky.

Yeah.

Yeah, I've been there once and it's like, I can't get over it like.

Yeah, I used to, I mean, when I was a kid, it was so much fun to go there.

And you just see all of the, like all the tourist attractions.

Yeah.

So I think it made him pressure me when I was a kid.

And so then when we shot Eastbound, I just wanted to have the experience of taking like other people and making them live there for a little bit.

Yeah.

I remember one night we were shooting in Craig Robinson and Will Farrell where there was like they were doing the all that crazy biker stuff in Murral Beach.

Like, biker?

Yeah.

And, and Will was like, we were going to go grab dinner and Will was like, we should just go to the planet Hollywood here.

Just like us three go in and see if we can get sat.

And we didn't end up doing it.

We should have.

We went to boat jangles instead.

Oh, okay.

Yeah.

They wouldn't have been like your table.

Yeah.

So they're like, this is all the memorabilia from Elf.

The first one you're wondering this.

No one really comes here.

I remember when I was a kid, I asked my parents if I could have my birthday party there one year and I had.

What did they say?

They said yes.

Oh, they had their parents.

And I was like, I was like, guys, you know, Silvestis alone is a part of part of owner.

Yeah.

My friends were like, you know, they didn't do it for them.

No, no, no.

Wait, what was that voice that you just did?

That's how you talk when you were a kid.

That's how I talk when I'm not around Gentiles.

Oh, got it.

Yeah, okay.

My, my real name is Rabbi Menachem Schneerson.

I heard that.

Yeah.

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You're a substitute teacher before you made that show.

I was living at my head moved home from LA.

And I was substitute teaching.

How nice of a parents you have.

They're pretty cool.

Pretty cool.

Yeah, they're like you're doing film as a job.

Yeah, and then they were, I think that they saw it coming.

I think that they were always supportive of me when I went off to film school.

I think it was a lot like, well, good luck to you.

And so I think when I came home from LA, they were, I don't think it was a big surprise.

I think that they were, I think what's happening now is probably a bigger surprise to them.

Was the Civil War a big deal when you were growing up?

It had just happened in the 80s.

It had just finished.

Yeah, so a lot of t-shirts and everything.

No, no, no, no.

In VA, like that.

Yeah, no, it totally was.

I mean, where we live, Fredericksburg.

Reenactment.

I've seen reenactments.

I've never done that myself.

Should.

It should be fun.

It should be nice.

Yeah, Fredericksburg is like, it's known as, I think it's the bloodiest ground in all of North America

because the amount of wars there.

Yeah.

That's where I'm from.

When you first moved to LA, is that when you realized that the North was the good guys?

I was like, oh, the Civil War wasn't fought out here.

I can't stay out here too long.

Yeah.

Have you found out yet or that the North or the good guys are?

I'm not sure what you're talking about.

They're like, what?

Good guys.

The good guys.

I don't know.

It's not something we discussed in my house.

It's fun.

It's fun.

Do you think Robert E. Lee was a little too hyped?

You know, a lot of people.

He kind of was an office man.

He was like, the thing about Robert Lee that a lot of people kind of like wash-ever is that he was an incredible body-border.

He would often, he would go to a mortal beach.

Yeah, before he kind of led the church.

When you got hurricanes, you smoke opium and go boogie-border.

And he'd go down there and he would surf and stuff.

You know, that stuff, that's the thing is we just whitewash people.

You know, we don't look at all of the cool things that they really did.

Yeah, he had the pot leaf that was inspired by him.

Robert Lee Lee was all about weed.

Well, that's what the war was really about.

That's what they're going to tell you.

They wanted to put the North want to put their laws on a simple plant.

Can you imagine on a plant that JAG gave this out in history?

Yeah, I love history.

Yeah.

Your dad made crossbows?

Is that what he's doing?

You know, my parents got separated after I was six grade.

And honestly, I don't really keep up with my old man.

So I've heard tales of what he's up to.

But at one point, I think he was working for a crossbow, a place that makes crossbows,

and then a place that makes boat windshields.

She got custody?

Yeah, no. I just became a runaway.

I raised myself.

I hopped on train cars.

And I was like, what can you go to the judge and be like, can I please live with this crossbow?

Stangerous.

I will be representing myself, your honor.

Dad, he might have some problems, but he wants to show.

But he's making crossbows now.

He was the head of the, for the Confederacy, the crossbow.

The crossbow division, yeah.

Yeah.

What did your mom do?

I grown up.

Raised us.

She raised us.

Raised you good.

Raised us good.

When I was a kid, we went to church a lot.

And so then one of the deals she did was she did this puppet ministry at our church,

where she would write these puppet plays and then perform puppet ministry for children.

Yeah.

What branch of Christianity is puppet?

They were all Baptist puppets.

Yeah.

Southern Baptist puppets.

Yeah.

There's a difference between Catholic puppets.

Yeah.

Yeah.

There's more ritual involved with the Catholic puppets.

They got something different inside.

They said that some of the stuff is Latin and you know, with Southern Baptist, it kind of just

let it rip.

Yeah, yeah.

They got something to do.

They got a hand inside of them.

In Baptist.

Yeah.

Yeah.

They have a what?

They have a penis.

Oh, yeah.

Or a double penis.

Oh, in which one the Catholic wants to?

Cut that, dude.

With their friends.

I don't want to go at them.

Yeah.

Yeah.

What inspired vice principles, I guess?

What the fuck am I James Lipton?

What seems like it?

Are you in for Michael Keaton and James Lipton pretty quick?

It's wild.

Yeah.

And then you said, Fushizl, for the first Dave Chappelle, you're the fast to say, Fushizl.

I literally, we had the pilot of Eastbound Memorades.

I wrote on our door in our dorm room, the, the, I'm the one with the ball.

I'm the one who could throw faster than Fush.

Was John Rocker was the inspiration?

Well, you know what's funny is that, you know, growing up, I was never into any sports.

Like there was anything.

So I didn't even know, I didn't know anybody.

I didn't know who John Rocker was when we even wrote this.

And then after we started writing it.

You can tell from how you throw.

Yeah.

That I can't do.

We just, yeah.

We, I didn't even, we were so worried about making the show that it wasn't until about a week before we were shooting.

And we were like, maybe we should like, should I like meet with someone to make sure I know how to like, you know,

look like I can play baseball.

And so we got this guy from Wilmington from UNC Wilmington.

There you go.

And he came and he watched me throw.

And he was just like, fuck, no, this is good thing to say comedy.

Yeah.

So I tried to learn how to throw over the course of the four years.

I barely got it.

But yeah, I don't know why we even chose baseball to the truth.

Like when it was all over, we're like, we know nothing about baseball.

Like why did we choose to make a show about a pitcher?

But that's just how it came to us.

Did you think John Rocker saw the show?

I hope so.

I'd like to think so.

Yeah, you think it made him change a little bit.

Maybe think about it.

Well, then what I've learned from about John Rocker since then is like, I think he's, I think John Rocker has always been John Rocker.

Yeah, yeah.

He's off his off off his rocker.

That was a friendly laugh.

That was really nice of you to laugh about.

You're doing great.

You're the best.

You've been writing screen.

Is this the first time you've written like a prose before?

Oh, God.

This is the first prose.

That's a big word.

That's nice.

I have a question in terms of how it was.

Yeah, this is my first foray into literature.

Did you find it you already knew how to write basically?

You know what?

You know, I've been writing for TV now, sadly, for like 20 years.

I've written over 80 episodes of television.

So the good place.

You learn.

I've learned the good place.

Yes, Ted Danson.

You learn from that, but it is different writing for this.

You know, like TV, the writing can just be whatever, because eventually actors are going to come in and they'll make the lines better.

Or, you know, some editor will come and cut out all the stuff that sucks.

And with writing like this, you're a little more exposed.

There's nobody coming in, putting a cool song over it to make up for stuff.

You have to.

You don't get a song.

You don't get a song.

Yeah.

You can't put the shit in slow motion.

It'd be cool if the publisher is here right now, right?

Yeah, all everyone from the publishing house is here.

Okay.

Like, you know when you get a birthday card that it like has a song, when you open it up, put that in books, maybe.

Yeah.

It's great.

If you swap bodies with a random guy in China, do you think you would get found out first?

You think the Chinese guy's body or the Chinese guy in your body?

Who would get in trouble?

It's a fascinating question.

Yeah.

Thank you.

I'd like to think that I could use my powers as a world class actor to, you know, inhabit the body of anyone, regardless of race or ethnicity.

So how would you just say one, if you...

I would just do all the cool stuff that Chinese people do.

Yeah.

Okay.

You know what it is.

Okay.

Yeah.

And like, you go home, your wife's there, she's moaning.

What's the first thing you say?

Which his wife or my wife?

The Chinese wife?

The Chinese wife.

His wife.

Yeah.

And why is she moaning?

You don't know.

You know what she's trying to use.

Yeah.

It's your brain.

That would probably be...

I probably would speak in the international language then of just fucking...

Yeah.

That's right.

You try to figure it out.

Try to read between the lines.

Also, you have a chair in your house called My Chair.

I've always had that.

Yeah.

Okay.

Anyone else could sit in it, but if you get it...

No.

It's my chair.

It's your chair.

Yeah.

Or you're...

It's kind of like I beat my family kind of thing.

You think so?

Yeah.

A little bit.

I mean, now you say it.

Those two things do happen.

So I guess that is indicative of that.

You know.

I don't think for the publisher they would like that.

They don't care.

They're just trying to figure out how to put the music in this book now.

How do you put...

Just one song.

What about steal my sunshine by Lynn?

Okay.

Have you ever met a ghost before?

You know what?

I have a fucking crazy ghost story.

I think I have.

I think I have encountered ghost twice in my life.

Two?

Two of them, yeah.

Okay.

Not the same one.

Really different.

No.

Different.

When I first moved L.A.

I was living in Burbank.

And I was the night manager of the holiday and...

I was the night manager of the holiday and there in Burbank.

And I used to just come to work and I'd work on scripts late at night.

Nothing was going on there.

But there were rumors about a guy who jumped off the roof of that holiday end.

There's a bar upstairs.

And none of the housekeeping or staff liked going up there because they said that there would be some up there who'd whistle at them.

That the ghost of this dude was up there.

And so at night, I would oftentimes go up and just walk around and challenge him.

Like I wanted to see if he was up there.

It would be completely dark and I would say, come for me.

Come reveal yourself to me.

And he would, nothing would ever happen.

And then this one night I was up there and I was doing the same old shit.

Come show me what you got.

And all of a sudden I felt that there was something in there with me.

And I was like, oh God, there is something here.

And I kind of like ran back to the elevator.

And I could, I don't even not explain it.

I could just tell that it was, I talked shit and something showed up.

I could feel it.

It went in you?

It was just around me.

And the hairs of my back of my neck were standing up.

And I'm like hitting the button for the elevator.

And the door opens.

I come inside.

The door shuts.

Stay shut for a second.

And it just opens back up again.

Like something opened the fucking door.

The ghost needs the door to open.

I was playing it down.

The ghost can't pass.

So he's got to press the button.

And then all the way down.

The elevator stopped at every single floor going down.

Really.

That was my first experience with a supernatural entity.

And that was the day after the pool party at David Geffen's?

Yeah.

Yeah.

It was the spirit of my innocence.

You could see it a little bit.

And then what's the other time you met it goes?

The other time is a little darker.

It's a little more fucked up.

I didn't make pottery and it ended with one of my buddies.

Like he woke up in the middle of the night and was completely on fire.

And his room was on fire.

He was on fire.

For real.

I lived in West Hollywood in this shitty apartment complex.

This is serious.

This is very fucking serious.

Okay.

This is ghost shit.

We lived in this apartment and there was like six of us living in this like two better apartment.

And everybody was just smoking weed and slipping around on the couch.

I mean, we will.

It was a it was a halfway house.

Everyone was like moving in and out.

My buddy had a room.

So he was one of the lucky ones.

And every time he was in his room for any amount of time, when he came out, he always seemed different.

Like he just seemed off.

And it was strange.

He'd have like a weird look in his eye.

And I started kind of like taking note of this.

And I'm like, something is up with that with him.

When he's there, he's fucking strange when he comes out.

There's something off about it.

And then in his part of the house, you could sense that there was some weird energy there

in mainly from his bathroom.

It felt like whatever was there, that's where the weird energy in the house was mainly there.

Well, I was like writing.

I would always start documenting this stuff.

I get a buzz on to start like, you know, writing what I was observing about my buddy.

And I told one of our neighbors like, yeah, I think that there, I was like, don't say this to him.

But I feel like he's losing his mind because I think there's like a spirit that's like living in the bathroom of his room.

And that's, I know it sounds nuts, but that's it.

My neighbor, she told me, she's like, it's so weird you're saying this because he literally has come to me and was crying saying that there's a fucking thing living in his bathroom.

And at nighttime, it shows him stuff.

And I'm like, what? It shows him stuff. What the fuck does that mean?

And so she's like, you should talk to him about it.

So I talked to my buddy about it.

And I'm like, you know, I'm not trying to like say I think you're nuts, but I've had this weird theory that there's something that lives in your bathroom.

And, you know, our friend said that you told her the same thing. So that like we should talk.

She's like, you said it shows you stuff. What does it show you?

And he's like, it like, I don't know.

It'll just like show me things and say stuff. And it was like, well, that's, so I moved out of that place then.

And a few months had passed.

And I had, this is when I went back to Virginia and I was substitute teaching.

And I was going to go visit my buds back in LA.

And so I called that friend. I'm like, yo, what's been happening with you? What's going on with the ghost?

And he's like, you know what? Everything had been fine. And then it hadn't been around. And weirdly last week it showed up again.

And this time it grabbed ahold of my arm and burned my arm. And I'm like, what?

And he's like, yeah, he's like, and it's so he's like, I haven't really been sleeping in my room because it's like gotten weird.

And I'm like, oh, man, that's nuts.

So I'm coming out to LA. I like, I'm getting up on an early flight.

And there's a message from my friend on the phone, like, before I go on the plane, it's him, but it's not him.

It's like a weird version. And he's like, how does it feel to be a burnt black tomato?

How does it feel to be a burnt black tomato? I'm like, what the fuck? What is he on right now?

I'm thinking he's drunk. I call his phone. No one answers. I call again. The roommate picks up and he's like, oh, God, you haven't heard.

He's in the hospital. He woke up in his whole entire room was on fire and including himself.

And so I went back to LA. He has no recollection of that making that phone call or calling me or anything.

And yeah, he got bad third degree burns on like most of his body. He's one of the writers on Halloween and Chempstown.

So he's he lived. He conquered the ghosts. But that was my other experience with the paranormal.

And he went to the hospital. They said, yeah, it sounds like a ghost. I think they thought that they thought that they tried this the department complex tried to sue him.

Because I think they were like, we don't know what's going on, but it was really weird when you'd go into that apartment.

Nothing else in the apartment was touched, but his room was just completely scorched and then just the bathroom door open with the light on, spirit in their cackling away.

And he's fine now. He's fine now. He has kids. He doesn't have kids. No. He burned his penis off.

Yeah, he burned him really. Yeah, I think so. I don't know. I've never asked him assuming really hit him up. Yeah, we'll call him. Did you?

You still burnt black tomato? Yeah, yeah, no.

Burnt black. It's gross. It's kind of weird thing for ghosts to say, right? Yeah. Yeah. I don't know. Yeah. It's like a racist. It sounds racist.

I mean, he's just talking about like what color he was going to be after he was cooked. Yeah. Yeah. I don't know. Is he a lot? He's an Eskimo.

Okay. That was a stereotype. So he like fire is like his that's like his weakness. Really? Yeah. Yeah.

Oh, that's the most. Yeah, they have zero words for fire. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. How have you guys like they've taken down episodes of 30 rock office like streaming services?

How have you guys managed to like skirt that and everything you've done? I don't honestly have no clue.

Obviously, I felt like when they start taking down episodes, I remember like Jody and Dave and I were like, oh, like how come no one wants to take down our episodes?

I guess maybe our shit's not as dangerous as we thought it was. Yeah. Yeah. It's true. Like is it the the but at the buzzer right now and movies and TV? Do you feel like?

What is that? I feel like it might go they might end movies and TV eventually. You know what? End it. I don't think so. I think that it's just like I think we're in this weird phase where like you just need the younger people to be able to start making movies.

I mean, there's been some pretty big movies made by young people recently. I think that that's what's been missing. It's like all the old guys you get out of the way. Really? I think so. Right? You think you're old guy? I'm on the verge. You can kind of like young my. Yeah. Yeah. I get that a lot. Yeah. Yeah.

As long as I keep drinking this diet, Dr. Pepper, I feel like it's just trying for Justin. No, no way. Just how many did you get? 36 it looks like.

Okay, bring them out. Bring them out. I'm going to try it. Yeah. It might be good. It's probably going to be delicious to tell you the truth.

Are you you do drink it every morning? Never. Never had one. Really? Yeah. But not because I'm against it. He's going to shotgun that one, right?

No. What do you think? It's a professional studio. Mix it in here with this coffee. Oh, like in an ethogia. Yeah, that's what they do. Okay. All right. Here we go. Cheers. Cheers to you. To you. To the dock. It's disgusting.

It's pretty good. Just try it raw. No, I'm not. I've had enough. You had it with coffee. I've had enough. All right. You have any questions for me?

So in Vegas. Yeah. Did you turn tricks there? Were you a call girl? I was a cocktail waitress for a while. No, no, seriously. It was hard for me.

My dad was a cocktail waitress, too. Was a cocktail waitress? He had to get because of my special needs educationally. We only had one bed. So like my dad, my sister, my mom slept on the floor.

That's sick. That's a good arrangement. Yeah. How much money do you have? So much. Really? Tons. And do you know the number? Yeah. I do. You know, it's actually. I just, you know, duct tails, Scrooge McDuck just swims in it. That's what I do.

You do that style. I always thought it was like it stays first of all. It must be very dirty. Well, I've changed. I spent most of my time cleaning it. You know, I've I've churned to all the gold coins.

You have a coin and clean. I polish it and clean it. Yeah. And then also it must hurt just to dive headfirst into like a ball pit at like a chucky cheese or something. You kind of want you have your angle. You can kind of scurry your way in. Really? Yeah. You have my number, right?

You want to text me just the amount of money. As soon as this is over with, I'll do that. No, I just I think it'd be funny if I reacted and can I text you something? I don't have a phone on me. I just want to be present for you. Can we get his phone? I want to text him.

So I smashed it before I came in here. I knew this was going to happen. What happened? I like that you went with the orange phone and the orange case, huh? I'm trying to do you think like I don't know. So you wouldn't lose it. That's why you want to be so bright.

I just want people to be like that guy's fucking random. Is that what orange does you think? Sometimes. Where's your phone? You have it on you. I don't I'm not a prisoner dog. I'm not strapped to it. Can I I'll just show you what I text you. Let me see.

Very good. That's beautiful. Everybody knows someone who look like this is a great meme. Yeah. Is what you said to me. Sick. Thank you. I appreciate that. I'll respond with a means of my own one day. No, I don't really do memes, but I like this one. It's a Peter.

I was like a Latina high school girl haircut. How'd you find that?

Did you search for it? Just for it. Yeah, it's kind of just you were like sick memes. The top 10 right now. New York Times is number one. The rest is porn for moms, right? Yeah, but wait, publisher guy. That's all people read anymore, right? Yeah, porn for moms. You publish any of them.

Porns for moms like a pirate guy with strong arms and then he just back walls her. Yeah, you do that. Okay, yeah, yeah. So yeah, just tell us what give us like a run down.

There are short stories. I feel like if you like the shows, I think you're going to like this. This is how it's written to be an extension of that. So it's the same kind of humor. It's the same kind of characters. I was just trying to take what I've done in film and TV and try to do it in a different format.

I think that that sounds as good. Okay, one last big question. Give it to me.

I'm going to get there. What have you ever figured out an antagram of your name? No, what is it? I wonder if your parents did this on purpose cyber mind DNA.

Sick. Yeah, they probably did do that on purpose. They've always been into that kind of shit. Yeah, I don't know. You mind like, do we call your mom? Yeah, she's in prison. Really? Yeah, we have to do it at a certain time and now it's not that time. Okay. Yeah.

Yeah. Yeah. Is your dad the card? Yeah, maybe so. Did you make bread everyone?

We got another one. Okay. Oh my gosh. No, we can just do a pickup.

Nicky Glazer, this stunning tour. The thoughts of death. I don't like to dwell on them for longer than like 10 or 15 hours a day.

So November 19th, Yama Vaugh Theater. No wonder women rush to have kids. We're being trained for it since we were kids. They're like, here's a baby doll. Here's an easy bake oven. I got one of those. I stuck my head in it. I was like, I want out of this narrative tickets.

On sale now at Yama Vaugh Theater dot com. Don't miss Nicky Glazer. Yama Vaugh Theater.

Power up your movie night and watch Disney and Pixar's Toy Story 5 now streaming on Disney Plus rated PG.