Ep. 316 - What If It Works Out?

I'm welcome to Pickleball Therapy, the podcast dedicated to your Pickleball improvement.

It's a podcast with you in mind.

My name is Tony Royg.

I am your host of this weekly podcast.

This is another special guest episode appearance by member of the coaching team over here at

Tony Roy Pickleball, Kylie and Dye Kylie and how are you today?

What's up, Tony?

Yeah, maybe this is a new regular occurrence.

Maybe not a special episode.

We'll see.

I don't know.

The jury's still out there.

We need to see what the folks out there think.

And actually, if you do like this format, if you let us know, that's awesome.

You can send us an email at support at Tony RoygPickleball.com and put therapy in the subject

line.

That way, we know what it is and it'll get routed the right way.

And if you like Kylie, let us know.

If you don't like Kylie, don't write in.

Okay.

So we'll do it positive, positive, only positive or nothing.

Unless you feel really strongly about it, then you get right.

Especially because those emails are coming to me.

So I'm going to see them.

Exactly.

100%.

So you might hear Kylie's a little bit under the weather, but she said that what's the

content creators name, Kylie?

Oh, TikTok Mima.

TikTok Mima is Kylie's, Kylie inspiration, one of her inspirations and content creation

world.

And a feed girl video came across Kylie's feed today.

She shared it with me.

I said, okay, I love it.

We're going to share it.

But that requires Kylie to be here.

And Kylie said, all right, I'll pop a super fed up get on there.

So that's what this podcast today is going to be about.

Kylie never going to have a conversation about this idea.

And it's an idea basically like picking the potential outcome.

Now if you've been listening to the podcast for the last probably three, four, five months,

you know, we've been, this message is coming through, right?

But you know, be a ridiculously optimistic, you know, pick the, pick the way you want

to interact.

But I think that that TikTok Mima, TikTok Mima's approach is an interesting approach.

We're going to play it and explore it for you.

And then, but before we do that, Kylie and I'm going to explain the riff after this.

I know we have some things coming up here.

So why don't you share with us what's coming up and then I'll explain the riff and then

we'll run the video.

Yeah, we do.

So next week, I think it's next Thursday, it's October 15th.

We have our stacking lab live coaching call, which should be really a good one.

The stacking stuff is always something players are really interested in.

And so, you know, Tony explains it really well.

So highly recommend you join us at the stacking lab.

We have our, along with the stacking lab, you get a seven day access to our course, your

pickable coach, which is if I may say amazing, great coaching, great platform.

It's come together really nicely.

And then also we got some camps coming up, Tony.

Yeah, we have we keep on rounding out the calendar for the calendar for 26 is set in stone.

The calendar for 27 is developing.

You know, we're we're going to be traveling some more in 27 coming closer to you.

We know that, you know, a lot of times camp decisions are based on on where you are and

where you can meet us.

So we'll still have a lot of camps here in my home, home court here in Tampa, Florida.

But we're also going to be traveling to different parts of the country at land.

We announced it now that we got actually Tony's come into my part of the country.

So the beautiful upstate New York area in the spring.

Yeah, so we're doing some, you know, some New York camps.

So be on the lookout for that.

And if you're interested in a camp, you can go now to our website and check that out.

And then the other thing I wanted to mention is if you do come to the stacking lab, we're

going to have a live coaching session on Thursday, the one Kylie mentioned, but you also

get there's going to be four additional videos inside the just the stacking module.

And I've lost track.

I think there's probably 80 plus or 100 lessons or something like that inside your pickable

coach right now that you had access to for the period.

So it's a great, it's a great way to come in and see what's going on and learn about

stacking if you want to.

And one last note, if you're already one of our students and, you know, I get I always

trying to remember the thank you for for allowing us to coach right the privilege to coach

you put your count or 1021.

So the following Wednesday, Wednesday, we're having a get together where we're going to

go over the course, what's dropped or we have some new courses that will have dropped

at that week.

We'll go over those.

We'll bring you guys out the speed and also share with you some ideas on how to navigate

within there and just keep working on improving your experience inside your pickable coach.

And then so Kylie and now we're going to tee up the video.

We'll talk, come back and talk about it.

And then in the riff afterwards, it'll be just me.

I'm going to talk about 50 plus coaching to get us something that I've been doing at

a long time.

But I knew really like explained why it's important to have 50 plus coaching.

So we'll talk about in the riff.

So Kylie, if you'll hit play on that video, we'll run the video and then we'll come back

and talk about it.

But what if it works out, honey?

You spent enough time imagining how I could all go wrong.

Give the other possibility a little bit of attention.

What if you apply and they say yes?

What if you start something at this age and you're actually good at it?

What if the next chapter of your life is the one so good that you'll be so glad you

stuck around for?

So I'm 64.

I still have things I want to do.

And I'm not going to talk myself out of everyone of them before I even get started.

Life has given us plenty of reasons to be cautious.

I understand that.

But sometimes we get so used to bracing ourselves for disappointment that we stop giving ourselves

anything to look forward to.

That's so sad.

You can be hopeful and still have good sense.

You can believe something good is coming and get up today and do your part to make that

happen.

You can't just wait for it to come to you.

Make the call without the application.

Let somebody know what you want.

Let the universe know what you want.

You don't have to know how the whole thing ends to take the next step.

And when that little voice says, who do you think you are?

Tell it.

A woman who's making things happen.

That's who I am.

All right.

I love Tik Tok Nima.

Her stuff has been coming across my feed often lately.

And it's just so full of positivity.

So I just share it.

You have a great, great feed there, Kailene.

And thanks for sharing it with me.

And thanks for allowing me then to, you know, you, well, you made the suggestion, but allowing

us to basically communicate it or share it here on the platform.

And I think I don't know, Kailene, how you feel about it.

But like to me, like, you can't have enough positive messaging, right?

It's like, you know, I think it's just such a good reminder.

And maybe let's talk a little bit about how like, like when you first saw that piece,

right, how did it land for you as a person, right?

Or a big role player person, how do you want to go with it?

Yeah.

I tend to overthink things.

And I think, you know, you mentioned like you can't be too positive, right?

And I think when we start overthinking things a lot of times, all we're thinking about is

the negative side of things.

And what I love about Tik Tok Nima is that she's encouraging us to think, you know, sort

of change how we're thinking about things, start thinking about the positive things as

well.

Like she said something, which was that you don't have to know how it ends up to take

the next step.

And I loved that statement just by itself.

Pretend, you know, assume it's going to be great.

Why wouldn't it?

Yeah, why assume the negative, right?

Why allow it so easy, right?

To like doubt our ability to take the next step.

And I want to tie it, let's tie it to pickleball, right?

Because I think what happens is, you know, we see this, we see this more frequently than

I wish we did, right?

Is this self limitation, right?

This self imposed, I'm like, I can't move forward.

And we talked about that maybe two weeks ago, three weeks ago.

But it's this idea that I can't move forward.

And I believe it comes from the conclusion that's already in the mind that that is going

to not work, that that won't work.

So I'm not even going to try it.

And so Kylie and Cheryl, a little bit about like, you know, maybe some of the stories

that we come across that are the other way, right?

Where the player takes like, takes a chance and then says, you know what?

I took the step and look what happened.

Well, I would suggest the players are doing that every time they decide to play in a tournament.

I mean, for me, tournaments are more of a mental challenge than anything else, I think, because

they are scary.

And so I think anytime that any of our players, any of the players out there decide to put

them, themselves out there and compete in that type of an arena, they're doing just

that, you know?

Yeah, I would agree with that.

And I also think, I also think like, you know, we have, we have, like we've been fortunate

to be able to interact with players who we've been able to coach, right?

But our interactions are beyond coaching.

We've become friends with the players.

We know them personally, right?

And so, but it's beautiful to watch the journey of the player that says, I'm not going

to say, I'm not like, why not take a chance?

And I loved what, what Mima said, I'm like, I think she said, what I'm, I'm 64.

And I'm not going to let any, like any like fake stories stop me.

Yeah, we definitely, I think that we tend to tell ourselves stories before we even, before

we even leave the house and head to the court.

And I think, you know, one of the things that gets, we talk about this often, but it's,

it's when people are struggling with like service yet, be it, for example, you tell yourself

before you even leave the house, I'm not going to, I'm not going to make my serves.

And then that's going to ruin the whole game.

But there's actually something that, that I've heard, I don't remember if it would, maybe

it was TikTok Mima, but you know, we go through life and we're like, well, what's the

worst that can happen?

That's, we hear that saying all the time, what's the worst that can happen?

But what if we said, what's the best that could happen?

So I actually have started taking that into my personal life, both on the court and

at home, what's the best that could happen?

Like when I'm struggling with something and mentally my head's not there and I'm like,

I'm probably going to play terrible today and I go out and say, well, what's the best

that could happen?

You know, I leave here, I played some pickleball, I hung out with my friends, I got through it.

You know,

Yeah, I love it.

It reminds me of the, of the, you know, I have the, I'm pointing to it because on the

video you can see it, but, you know, like the bowl of ice cream behind me here, that

idea of like there is a positive, right?

And, but to get the positive, you have to overcome the fear of the potential negative,

right?

And listen, I'm not suggesting that life is perfect and everything's going to be roses

all the time.

But why presume that it's going to be, you know, sour milk instead of fresh milk?

And you know, you can always like take a sip of it and it's good then you keep going,

right?

I think like, like putting yourself out there right, trying, and I believe that, and

I wrote a piece about this, I think I wrote a piece recently about this, but basically

the idea is that like, like you're only here, like we have this one kind of, you know,

spin around the globe, so to speak, right?

We're on the planet.

Why not?

Like why not just go for the thing.

And if it's pickle ball, then like, like go for it, right?

And that could mean, like Kylie said, maybe playing a tournament, that's fine.

It could also mean getting coaching.

And listen, you don't have to get coached by us, it's fine.

You can do whatever works for you.

But like if you're like, yeah, I wonder what would happen if I really tried?

You'd be surprised.

Yeah, I agree with that.

I agree with that 100%.

Yeah.

So, all right, Kylie, any other message about tiktok, me, my that we want to share?

No, but I think if you're on tiktok, you should follow her because she's just got some great stuff.

Tiktok, me, my is good.

And I will tell you that both for Kylie and myself, there's countless stories of players

believing in themselves, believing in the positive outcome, the possibility of the positive

outcome, and then going after that positive outcome and having that result in their life.

And there's one other thing I want to touch on Kylie based on what you said earlier about

the negative versus positive.

And there's just like a psychology thing we're basically like, if you, let's say that you're,

you don't want to miss the next shot, right?

And if you say to yourself, don't miss the return, your mind doesn't hear, you don't get

the return in it.

Here's like miss the return.

Like it doesn't disappear.

Which one thinks I hear is miss the return.

And I think that can happen bigger picture too, right?

Where you start believing the storyline that, that I can't, I can't, I can't do what I can't

perform in the thing.

And actually, Kylie, you had shared, I just remembered because of the serve.

You shared a story, me earlier, that was shared with us about a player.

I think it was an internment too with the serve.

Why don't you relate that story?

Yeah.

So actually, that came to us from Jeff, one of the members of our team.

He was running a tournament in his local facility.

And he, he was, he came to our community to tell us the gold medal match.

And I don't remember what the rating was, but it was either three or three five.

The gold medal match, one of the players missed every single one of her serves, every single one.

And they still won the gold medal.

So I mean, if that doesn't tell you, you know, how little, what you can get through with

the service, you can be in a gold medal match, miss every single one of your serves.

And still win the, win the gold medal.

Yeah. And what's interesting is like, you know, I don't know the player, but I would have to believe

that obviously not happy missing your serve. I get it, right? You know, I get it.

But you can also just fold the tent, right? You're just kind of like, well, I'm missing this.

So then you just, everything collapses and everything collapses.

You're definitely not winning that game, right? Or that match.

And so credit to the player for like fighting through that, but also allows a possibility of like,

well, what if I can miss all my serves and it still work out, right?

They still come.

They're still positive.

And it this also ties into a concept that we've talked about before on the podcast, which is about

pickleball being messy. Pickable is a messy game. And frankly, life is messy. I mean, you know,

there's like life as it's bumps in its bruises and you know, you're going to stub your toe here.

You can do that. Right? But if you're going to allow those like stub toes to then

impair you from moving forward, then you're not going to experience the fullest life you can.

And so, you know, I would command everybody to say positive as much you can.

And use the framing, right? That we shared with you here, which is

think of like Haleen said, what's the best that can happen? You know, what if it works out?

Huh, that's interesting. Now what if it all goes to pot, right? What if it all, you know, no,

what if it all works out in my favor? How does that feel? So,

Kaleen, thanks for sharing TikTok, Mima, and then keep your eye out for it. We'll keep sharing

him and bringing it up. Kaleen is going to jump off because Kaleen, we got cams. We got cams,

the fill out and Kaleen's doing that. And so, I'll be back in a second with the riff. Thanks for

joining us. Kaleen on today's podcast. I'll pleasure. Until next time. Thanks, Tony.

I hope you enjoyed that message from TikTok, Mima. I think it's such a powerful way of reframing how

we engage with life in general and pickable in particular, you know, when we think,

what if it goes out well? Why, why, why, what if it works out for me? How does that feel? What does

that look like? Make decisions based on that, rather than, hmm, I wonder if it all goes terrible for

me. So, hopefully you can apply that into your pickable and your life in general. In the riff,

I wanted to talk a little about 50 plus coaching. This is something that I've been doing for years.

I'm 56, so I've been 50 for more than a, going on seven years this year. So, I'll be seven years

into my 50s this year. And I've been playing pickable for 11 years. So, about four years before

I turned 50, but most of my pickable career has been as a 50 plus player. And, you know, by extension,

the coaching ideas, the thoughts all come from the mind of a 50 plus player. And a lot of our

students are 50 plus students, right? So, it's something that we haven't really, maybe put enough

emphasis on in our materials. And so, we're starting to fix that inside of our materials.

But I wanted to spend a couple of minutes talking about what does that mean to be

coached by a 50 plus coach, as opposed to being coached by a coach who's not 50. And I want to be

clear, there's nothing technically wrong with being coached by a coach who's not 50.

Okay. I mean, not a bad thing. Just like I would say, there's nothing wrong with if you're,

you know, 30 being coached by a 50 plus coach. But there are some differences, right?

lived experiences, life, things like that that happen when you're 50 plus. And you're trying to

coach players who are 50 plus than when you're 25 and don't really get the perspective of a 50 plus

athlete. And so, for instance, for me, you know, like, you know, I have creaking ease just like

maybe some of you do. I have the back, sometimes the shoulder, sometimes, you know, the normal

things that happen when you get older with sleeping and things like that. I have all that, right?

And so my lived experiences are close closer, I would say, to your lived experiences,

whether you're 50 plus, 60 plus, 70 plus, then again, then a 20 year old to be not because of

anything wrong or not because they're bad coaches and things like that, just lived experience way.

I also come at the game, I play the game as a 56 year old human being, right? I'm 56 when I step

out onto the court. And in the groups that I play with, sometimes I'm playing with players who are

older than me, sometimes the same age as me, oftentimes younger than me. So I need to develop

approaches to the game that allow me to remain competitive regardless of the age of my opponent.

So I feel comfortable getting on the court with a 25 year old as I am with a 50 year old.

I recognize that the 25 year old is likely going to be able to cover the court better than a 50 year old.

They're going to be able to get to more balls. They're going to be in their body, won't wear down,

like the 50 year olds might and things like that. But in terms of like the way that we're coming at

the game, there's ways that I can play the game in a way that keeps me competitive with the 25 year

old winner lose, right? It's not about winning losing. It's about being competitive about saying

out there about doing the best that you can in that situation. And I would say that normally,

if I'm facing a 25 year old, I need to think about playing like a smart or former pickable,

right? I need to do things in a certain way that are going to make it more difficult for that 25 year

old to be successful in the rally. If all I'm going to do is go out there and just, you know,

bang heads with the 25 year old, I'm going to bet that the 25 year old probably is maybe a little bit

stronger, a little bit quicker, their eyes are quicker and things like that. So just budding heads

with them, you know, doesn't really work that well. Similar to the idea of like when you're facing a

banger, you know, you look across and they're physically more imposing than you just as a body,

right? Their body's bigger. Hard to say, well, let me just bang with the banger. Same thing when

you're playing a younger player. So there's some strategies that you can use that just keep you

more competitive regardless of the opposition. And one area, for instance, would be court positioning.

Right? So part of it is smarter play. And a lot of it has to do with using the non-bolly zone,

moving the ball around, not giving them an easy attack ball, using out balls, right? Really important.

And then your court positioning, right? If you're in a better court position where you can, you can,

you know, cover more of the relevant part of the court and leave more of the irrelevant part of

the court or less relevant. I should say less relevant part of the court open. You're going to be

better off than if you're squeezing over to the less relevant part of the court and leaving the

more valuable part of the court open for attack. And that's just court positioning that you can do

no matter your age, 50, 60, 70, you can learn those things. So these are the types of coaching ideas,

right? That as a 56 year old coach, I can bring to the table. And I also think it's a bigger picture

perspective, again, based on the lived years, where I can communicate in a way that, I can communicate

my years of experience just on the planet and also in sport to help another player who's 50 plus,

appreciate the same level of view, right? Of life and of the game that would be, you know, not

the same as if I was coaching a 20 year old. And I have coached some pro players or younger than

me. And sometimes that's some of the challenge, right? Because I have a longer view of life, right?

Been here longer. They don't have that view. And so it's sometimes difficult for them to see some

of the conversation. And the flip side is also true, right? A 25 or, you know, 26, 27 year old coach

isn't going to be able to communicate a long view just because they haven't been there yet. So

those are just some of the differences and some of the ideas. And you're going to hear more of that

in our coaching at 20 word pickable, you know, the camps, everything that we do, we're adding some

additional pieces to the 50 plus part of our coaching that are very specific, very tailored to 50 plus

play. You know, the game itself is going to be the game, right? I mean, we all have to return serve.

It's not like if we're 50 plus, we don't return serve, right? The rules all apply the same. The

game's going to be the same. And I'm actually going to talk about that in next week's episode. This

idea of they're being one game. And I think you're going to find that pretty interesting, hopefully

very interesting. So this idea of they're being one game that we all play, no matter age, no matter

level, no matter any background, it's all the same game. But there are some tweaks that we can make,

particularly a 50 plus players. So be on the lookout for that in our coaching at our camps inside

the course, and also just in our general communication to you, because our objective as coaches is to try

and do our best to help you experience the game in the fullest way possible. So I hope you

enjoyed this week's podcast. Keep applying that positive perspective. Keep working on different

ways of doing it. And that's one of the reasons I try and bring you different, maybe different

gradations or different angles to a similar concept. Because for some of you, maybe the,

you know, like, like what Kylie and Cid earlier about, you know, what's the best that can happen?

Maybe that triggered it for you, right? Maybe what, you know, Mima said about, about what,

what everything goes well. How does that look? Maybe that triggered it for you. So whatever angle

comes that you are works for you, use that angle, the ideas to try and work to being more positive

and being more willing to grow and continue to experiences, beautiful sport, as well as this

awesome time that we have on Planet Earth. So before I wrap this episode, I forgot to remind you

about the second lab. The second lab is coming up right now. If you want to join the second lab,

go to tornorickpickable.com at the very top of the page. It'll be a link. You can check out that

link and join me for the second lab. If you enjoyed the podcast, please consider giving it a

rating and review. And if you know a player who might benefit from a more positive

perspective on their growth and their experience, please share a version of this episode or not

a version. But I share this episode with them because if you enjoyed the podcast, they probably

won't do it. Hope you have a great week and I'll see you next time on the next episode of Pickable

Therapy. Be well.